Happy Valentine’s Day! I have no idea about the history and origin of this day but I always knew I loved it. The stores are paraded with heart-shaped balloons and chocolate boxes and most everyday household products are temporarily tinged pink. I love how love is in the air, but more importantly, I just love how my birthday was the very next day. It felt like the fun wasn’t over after the 14th, and it was great to get discounted decorations for birthday parties! I rarely did anything special for Valentine’s Day so I never cared if I didn’t have someone to share it with because I looked forward to my birthday instead. But for the past six years, Valentine’s Day has changed and it was no longer all about me. It was about me and my boyfriend, Philipp. When people first ask me about having a boyfriend, they’re always surprised when I tell them that he lives in Germany. Then I get the next question every time: How did you guys meet?
It started over six years ago. He lives in Berlin, Germany. I live in the small suburban town of Rancho Cucamonga, California, an hour east of Los Angeles. He was convinced by his parents to spend four weeks in an American city to immerse himself in the English language so that he could fluff up his resumé in the future. During that time, my family agreed to host a German teenager and allow him to live in our home for four weeks, because we found out about the program through a former work colleague and friend, who was the coordinator of the program. That same coordinator took in Philipp! There was a group of about twenty other German visitors, and they’d all meet every weekend at a church where they’d brush up on their English and get to know each other. They’d go on excursions with their host families to the beach, amusement parks, tourist attractions, and meet ups within the city. The very first time I saw Philipp was at a welcoming party at the park. There was a large board displaying the German country and photos of the visitors were tacked on to their home city. I saw a small picture of a fifteen year old blonde haired, blue-eyed boy on Berlin, and I remember telling my then step-sister that I thought that boy was cute. Mind you, I was sixteen at the time, not twenty-two! I then saw him at the park but we never spoke to each other. Nor did we speak when I saw him again when we all went to laser tag one day, but I do distinctly remember him looking at me frequently. Maybe he didn’t think anything of it, but I felt pretty observed! (Not that that’s a bad thing!)
I had a great time during those four weeks with my family and our German visitor, Patrick. I never really had a conversation with Philipp all month, not until we all went to Disneyland in the last week. I remember thinking that I could finally drum up some dialogue with him because he was hanging out with the group I was in, with Patrick and another kid, Torben. (Yes, if you know my dog, you’ll know that I named him after this guy!) We never had any marvelous interaction with each other that day, but at some point he asked me for a dollar so he could get a snack. A long time later, he told me that he actually kept that dollar. Awwww.
July 30th rolled around, which was everyone’s last night in America before they flew back to Germany. The program coordinator let my family and I hang out at her house after the farewell party that night and I finally got to spend some time with Philipp. While everyone was outside talking, he and I ended up in the living room playing Just Dance on the Wii then hung out on the couch and bonded over our favorite music. We added each other on Facebook right before I left and hugged him goodbye at the church the next day before he boarded the bus for the airport. We became best friends who would skype everyday despite the nine hour time difference and would send packages with clothing that carried our scent and handwritten letters. I knew there would come a time where I’d have to really buckle down and call it a relationship and although I was faced with the challenge of a long distance relationship, I jumped right into it anyway because I wasn’t scared and I knew it would all work out anyway.
A lot of people would always tell me, “Wow I could never do a long distance relationship” or “I’d have to see them everyday I don’t know how you do it!”. For some reason, though, it almost felt effortless. Sure, I hated how I couldn’t talk to him after 3 pm for the rest of the day or some days I really wished I could just cuddle him when I was really missing him, but I always had it in the back of my mind that after some time the wait would be worth it. For six years we’d fly back and forth to visit each other for two, three, or six weeks at a time. We’d go on vacations to Palm Springs, London, and Paris to break the monotony. We’d have our arguments and disagreements just like every couple. We always had the idea that after some years like when I was done with Pasadena City College and he was settled in with his job, that one of us would make the move to finally cut the distance between us. I frequently entertained the idea of finishing college in Berlin, I loved the city and atmosphere and I felt that university there would be an incredible experience, so last year I applied to Berliner Technische Kunsthochschule and after some time to build a portfolio and prepare for a skype interview, I was accepted! It was something that I felt was plausible but something in the near future because I was accustomed to the “near future” things after waiting for six years, but this time it was real. It was an actual, concrete step towards my future with Philipp. Since then I have been wildly planning the move. Just yesterday I received my temporary residence visa from the German Consulate in Los Angeles and I stared right at my future on the printed visa in my passport.
In about a month I’ll be flying across the globe and living in an apartment with him. I no longer have to count down the days until I pick him up from LAX or count the days until I have to see him go through security before he flies back home after his visit. I don’t have to stay up past midnight so I can FaceTime him while he drives to work in the morning for an hour long chat before I sleep. I don’t have to write down random thoughts in my notes so I can unleash all of my weird musings when I can finally talk to him when he wakes up. I could tell him when I wake up, which will be around the same time when he wakes up because we’ll finally be in the same time zone. I won’t have to sit in traffic by myself on my way home from the airport because he’ll be driving me around our city in his car everyday. I won’t have to pay steep prices at the post office to send a package internationally, because I could just surprise him with small gifts when he comes home from work or for holidays. Basically, we can finally be together. And it’s a relieving, fulfilling, and satisfying feeling.
So, Happy Valentine’s Day baby.
What’s your love story?
